I’ve been pretty quiet of late, and it’s mostly because what I wanted to say I couldn’t without hurting somebody or stirring up more stuff by my words here. I’ve seen the power of words in blogs firsthand and have no desire to be that person. This is sounding all doom and gloom already, and it’s not! Too much. >.>
I’ve weathered 2 expansions previous to Cataclysm, but none have been so full of upheaval and change with regards to raiding for me. In BC, I was extremely new to raiding and didn’t know the ins and outs of the whole thing. In Lich King, the guild I was in really didn’t have raid ‘teams’ formally….I’m pretty sure we only had one group raiding, kinda fuzzy on it. This expansion, I knew would be rough, but I was not expecting what happened. I didn’t handle it well.
I’ve been with the same raiding crew most of my time on ThoBro and was hopeful we could continue that in Cataclysm. Drama claimed some of our members recently, but then a few of them migrated to another raid group and I erroneously assumed it to be a case of them just filling in to get experience and help with the holes that group had, which was pretty much ready to start raiding. That assumption held for awhile and gradually it got chipped away and I realized I was ‘raid homeless’. And that thought left me not feeling good. Communication was not happening, or rather, it was…but much in the manner of the telephone game, where “I sneezed on grannny” turns into “I have red panties.” Things seemed to be changing day to day, it felt – everyone was getting different information and I was hella confused (as were others, no doubt). And in one weekend chat with the GM, I was crying in Vent, left with a headache and an upset stomach much of the day and pretty miserable. I ended up creating a Vent meeting so the remnants of my raid team could chat about our prospects, but I fail at putting up events, so the old RL of our group did it for me…inviting officers as well, at the suggestion of a friend, so we could all be on the same page.
This whole thing was probably made worse because I bottled as much of my misery up as possible in an effort to not spread it around and start drama. Nothing on the blog, nothing to Askevar (I knew she was dealing with a busy time IRL), and I really didn’t know what TO say without sounding whiny or annoying (“My raid group died and I don’t have a raid group, waaaah! I want to raaaaaaaid!” /hissy fit). I turned to my old server more, but after my weekend sobfest, I took my own advice from months back and took a step back. No matter what the cause, no matter if it was all my fault and nobody elses, I got so worked up about the game that I was physically out of sorts a good portion of a day. That was no good. I gave myself permission for the next week not to log on or play on certain toons if it would stress me out.
Things have started to work themselves out, I hope. Our meeting ended with a tentative group of folks, a tentative day/time and a thirst for raiding. It will be me and 2 others sharing raid leading duties. It’s hella stressful to Raid Lead, I’ve seen how it wears on a person. I’m believe that having 3 co-RL’s will be a way to alleviate the stress and weight of it all, and won’t end up being confusing. If we do it right, it shouldn’t. We all have our various strengths: one is good at logistics and planning, one is really good at leading in a fun way, and if he needs to correct someone, he does it in a way that isn’t mean or condescending, and me….I cheerlead. I maintain morale (or try to!), I joke and make silly cheers, I um, I hope to find more I can do well, because I am DETERMINED to see this work. There are still a few kinks to be ironed out, such as a name for our group. HFC is gone (RIP, Happy Fun Crew), this is a clean slate for us to craft to our liking and start anew. I hope things go well, I want them to very badly.
My guild does organized guild heroics twice a week and last night we didn’t have quite enough people to fill out 3 groups like we usually do, so we changed things up and went into Bastion of Twilight with 10 folks to do a ‘trash run.’ I loved every second of it. I missed raiding in new, fresh content with a group of nine other folks and seeing what Lady RNG might hand us. An epic leather helm dropped and erm….may have gotten sharded instead of sold or used by someone. Honest mistake, since we were in the middle of fighting when it got looted and I know I didn’t have a chance to do much other than go “Oh, leather…meh.” and pass. That aside, I had SO much fun. I can’t wait to do it with my new crew, whatever our name may be. 🙂
- Lirwyn’s gear continues to sloooooooowly improve. I got some crafted epic pants thanks to the help of some generous guildies. Because I’m restricting myself to mostly guild heroics, I haven’t done enough to buy anything with VP’s yet, but I’m inching my way up there. Raiding should help with that. She topped 100k mana recently (buffed up) and I squee’d a little.
- Endy 2.0 has made improvements in leaps and bounds. She’s now on the verge of level 79 and has pretty descent gear, I must say. She’s at the point where she can nab some GREAT upgrades from the AH that come from lowbie Cata zones (because they’re able to be worn starting at level 78) and it’s been great fun catching up with old guidies again. I hope at some point to be able to get to 85 and geared well enough I can help sub in on raids if they need it. My guild over on SC raids late enough it most certainly wouldn’t clash with ThoBro stuff. I may fall asleep at some point though….
- Original Endy is a good halfway through level 83. It’s just hard because I usually just quest on her and have only done 2 instances. I need to do more. I either need to pester guildies or….*gulp* PuG. I just want her to be 85 already. Arrrrrg.