Interesting times

Warning: sensitive topic in the first paragraph…I see other people warning about triggers when this word/topic is brought up, so consider yourself warned.

I read a post on a blog awhile back about the use of certain words and phrases and how by letting them go, the blogger felt they were essentially saying it was ok. This realization deeply upset them. The post went on to talk about the use of phrases such as “that’s gay”,  and “that’s retarded.” It was food for thought, even though I thought the blogger went a wee bit too far with what words/phrases bugged her and omg, a commenter even said she thought ‘bad’ and ‘fail’ were starting down the slippery slope. Really? I mean, really? Aaaanywho, one of the issues brought up was the use of the word ‘rape’ in phrases like “We’re going to rape that boss!” and I agree…I believe it’s not appropriate to use in that situation. Unless you’re not saying something like “A dear friend of mine was raped”, that word has no place in a conversation. So when someone in game used that word where I could read it recently, I objected and at first said “You meant defeated.” When they didn’t quite seem to get it, I may have seen red briefly, but said something like “No, rape is a sexual, violent act, having nothing to do with actions in the game, rape does not happen in this situation.” They tried to argue that well, I was ok with pwnage happening right? Yes. Ok, then since neither can happen in game why the objection? The conversation was forcibly ended after it was said that I was jumping down his throat.  I am still….discombobulated. Why do I feel like I was the bad person here? I feel it was entirely right of me to object to ‘rape’ being used in the manner it was used, and the only thing I can figure is I should have just straight out said “Please don’t use rape in that way.” So I feel bad about being too..forceful in my objection, but not about feeling that ‘rape’ was not cool to use in that instance. I am hoping that none of it ever gets mentioned again, this person knows now I object to the word being used in that way and it’s water under the bridge. I am certainly not interested in pursuing it any further (in the game), nor in causing drama. And yes, I realize I’m putting this on my blog, where it is being read by many folks, which is why I am attempting to be vague and brief. I have a worst case senario already thought of and I hope it never comes to pass. Ugh.

The excrement has hit the rotating blades in other ways that I won’t detail in…detail. Sufficed to say, the next few days should be interesting.

Lirwyn is still trying to stick mostly to heroics and I have her looking better now, but I still have mana problems on trying fights and aim to fix that by hoarding as much spirit as I possibly can. I’ve gotten some gear with JP’s or the few heroics I’ve tried (even ones I don’t finish still drop gear. 🙂 ). I’m going back and forth on if I should make her off-spec Holy or stay Shadow. My initial thought was that by having Disc/Shadow I could bring the heals or the pain, depending on what was needed in 5 mans or even raids. But….it’s not working out that way. I’m not very good at Shadow; I don’t research optimal specs, gearing, rotation choices. I know I should. I know I could. BUT…I had a thought recently that froze me in my tracks. Off-spec Holy. I like healing alot. This is a time honored, proven fact. Disc brings certain things to the table, but not everything. Holy has other strengths Disc doesn’t. What *precisely* those are, I’m still unsure, since I haven’t looked much into it. I think they’re better raid healers, bring the AoE heals and right NOW, are stronger than Disc, or at least….not struggling as much. So I am thinking that especially down the line, when raiding starts up, going Holy off-spec could be helpful, so I still bring the versatility, but just in the way I can heal. If a certain fight calls for things Holy would shine *better* at, I can do it! If a fight needs damage mitigation via bubbles…I got that too. I’m still thinking it over.

Endy is level 82 now, and slowly working her way through Vashj’ir. I think that’s my favorite zone, which is why I’m not buggering off to Deepholm, even though I probably could. I haven’t done any instances with her yet, mostly because I’ve been lazy and not discovered any of the instance entrances. I should do that. I am motivated to get her to 85, but not as motivated as I am to work on Lirwyn. Hmmph.

*starts singing Kumbayah to herself*


About Holly

I'm a 30-something human being who enjoys traveling, reading and playing SWTOR in my spare time.
This entry was posted in Rants, Srs Bzns, WoW. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Interesting times

  1. Betine Ardan says:

    You were right, my dear. You were absolutely right. Never for a moment second guess yourself on this.

    This was an issue I had with someone in game once before. Fortunately when I asked them to not use that word in such a way they got it, apologized and never uttered it again, at least not to me. All was forgiven.

    I think this is a phrase picked up in gaming culture and used casually without much thought. If it is objected to others usually “get it” and drop it from their gaming vocabulary. If someone is so insensitive that they actually want to argue that use of the word “rape” is appropriate for a game, then I really don’t want to play with them anymore.

    I know many people will say that we are being too sensitive or “politically correct” but let’s face it, we don’t know who we are playing/communicating with out there, and what we say could hurt people or spark hurtful memories. Why would we, as caring human beings, want to risk that? And if you are not a caring human being, then why should I care about you? Or want to spend time playing with you?

    Rape has been used forever as a means to demean, demoralize and degrade another human being (usually women). It is the ultimate expression of misogyny. If someone cannot understand why we are sensitive about that they are not thinking enough. Or, worse case, they don’t care or actually want you to feel a little bit of that degradation, in which case I can’t disassociate myself from them fast enough.

    Thanks for sticking up for us Endy, you did good.

    *joins in singing Kumbuyah*

  2. Troutwort says:

    We have removed players for using the word “rape” in guild chat. I give them one warning, if they argue, or give me free speech something or other, I tell them, no and gkick them. I have no time or place for it. The greater the offense the quicker you get removed. I’ll let a “that’s gay” slide by but usually whisper the person to tell them we have gay guild members and to please be respectful, usually they apologize to the group and it doesn’t happen again. You are correct though, you are the one that is right about the use of that word.

    • Endyme says:

      Well, the comment was said in a fairly private setting, but my guild is similar in that we don’t like anything direspectful in gchat, be it cursing or something sexual or otherwise innapropriate. An officer will usually gently remind folks “Hey, we like to keep things PG-13 folks” if things get out of hand (usually when new folks are around).

      The person in question has apologized for offending me, I’m now prepared to say “Please don’t use (whatever word/phrase), I find it (offensive/disrespectful/racist)” instead of being so RAWR off the bat. We’re good.

  3. AliPally says:

    I think the big problem with people using phrases like ‘we are going to rape boss X’ is that there is some kind of positive association there, almost like ‘we are going to enjoy humiliating/ pyhsically hurting boss X’, and that this is going to make everyone who participates in it feel good.
    Simply because of that association, it is imperative that women come down hard on this. Do not feel guilty about it! You might feel like you are over-reacting, but you are not, because if people are allowed to use the word rape in this context, then they will begin to associate it with positive rather than negative feelings, and that cannot be allowed to happen. Ever.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s