Once upon a time, in a server far away……
People used to have to *gasp* put together their own groups. Say you wanted to run Deadmines. You have some guildies who want to go, but you’re left needing a healer and a DPS’er. So you all comb through your friends list and manage to find a healer. Then you had to turn to other channels (literally). I can’t recall when the LookingForGroup channel came into being, but I don’t think it was always there. Eventually, you find a DPS and off you to, flying, running or riding to your destination, because you weren’t magically ported there. Even summoning stones weren’t around at first. You actually all had to GO to the Deadmines under your own power. Then you set off to slay the bad guys. And sometimes it didn’t go well, but you picked yourself up and tried again. If you were a jerk, or a ninja, your reputation could take a serious hit. People on the forums just might call you out so all could know of your misdeeds.
Time passes and the magical system known as Looking For Dungeon is created….
It seems to me nowadays that verbal abuse and impatience are common in LFD these days. My DK was once greeted in a VH with “Get the f$%@ in here” and told to “stfu” when I was like “Excuse me?” Tanks tell tales of hearing (and loathing) the “gogoogogo!” phrase, or having the DPS pull for them because they’re ‘too slow’. I was on my disco priest recently and when we wiped in HoL, the tank begged to be kicked because they got no heals and the healer can’t heal and if we wiped on the first boss, there’s no hope for us. One wipe in a group and it’s not unexpected to have one or more people complain and/or drop group. I’m sure many people could share horror stories of PuG’s gone bad. To be fair, there are good and enjoyable PuG’s to be had, but what sticks in our minds are the bad ones.
I think the LFD system, wonderful though it is, has encouraged some bad behavior to cultivate. People are no longer held as accountable for their actions, so they’re more free to act however they want, ninja whatever and kick people for ‘sucking’. I’m frankly shocked I haven’t been kicked from a group yet…there have been times I fully expected to see a message pop up. And my goodness, what is with the impatience? Too many people seem to want to get through the instance as quickly as possible. I can’t tell you how close I was to making a macro for Endy 2.0 that said “Guys, I need mana to keep you alive. Please give me time to drink if my mana is less than 50%. If you don’t, you may die and it won’t be my fault.” When I get tanks that pause long enough for me to drink (or ask me if I need to drink), I want to hug them and never let them go. Then there are the people who utter “Gogogogogo!” like we’re in a race and we MUST FINISH NOW! Where’s the fire, Sparky? Why are we hurrying? Is pausing for a few seconds (to let cooldowns come off cooldown, to get mana, etc) really going to hurt you that much? It’s not like instances take long to run nowadays. 15 minutes or so and you’re done.
Wiping means the group is fail, naturally. It’s not surprising to me anymore to see people bail after one. Y’know, sometimes wipes just happen. You get a group of people together who have never met and don’t know the skill level of the other people and it’s bound to happen every once and awhile. Maybe a DPS doesn’t know the fight well, or maybe the healer spaced out at just the wrong time or maybe the tank is still working on his gear and he’s more squishy than you’re used to. Maybe it was the perfect storm of a few things combining to make the wipe happen. Who knows? But it seems some don’t have the patience to stick with it and figure it out. I can (and have) spent all 2 hours of a raid wiping over and over, so why can’t folks take one little wipe in a heroic? Now, there are sometimes when a group is just doomed to failure and yes, leaving may be for the best. I’ve been in a few of those…when there’s a wipe (or two) and some folks leave and it’s just you and the lock and then THEY go offline. But that’s never happened to me. >.>
Then there’s the case of the ‘sucky DPS’ or ‘fail healer’ or ‘fail tank’. If people are not performing to someone else’s expectations, they ‘suck’. I had a tank get on the case of the DPS in a FoS last night where I was the healer. At the very end, he said the DPS sucked. I didn’t even have the meters showing so after the instance was over, I pulled Recount up and looked. Nobody was below 2500 DPS. Except me, of course (I was at 40, I rule!). In my book, if you can pull around 1500 DPS, you’re pulling your weight. Below that, well, you need to improve, but I’m not gonna call you out (out loud anywho. I may think it). Because here’s the thing. You never know what the situation is. Maybe they just came back from a long break or just respecced or they’re distracted by their child who just colored Fluffy green with markers…PERMANENT markers. I try not to judge. If I get a fail [insert role here], I may offer advice if I have knowlege of the class or what the problem might be, but berating them isn’t gonna help matters. Kicking may indeed be warranted in some situations, but I think many people are just too hard on others. Because 3000 DPS in a heroic isn’t bad DPS in my book, but the tank sure thought so.
I’m not saying any of this to propose a magic solution. I’m not sure if there is one. But much likeeAskevar said here, though I’m paraphrasing a bit: treat everyone well and give them a benefit of the doubt or two.
And I’d add “have patience” to that advice.