Warning: A recent chat with a guildmate prompted this post. These are the cynical, bitter thoughts that once plagued my mind. There may be no logic to it, it may not all be ‘right’, it may sound reeeally, REALLY bitter. It probably comes off as emo and y’know what, maybe it is. However, I should also say that I’m happy where I am now, that the bitter, burnt out me that once was is a thing the past. I took steps to make the game fun for me and they worked. Also, I overuse the word drama and guild in this post. And I ramble. 🙂
I was tooling around Scarlet Crusade on Endy 2.0 last night after doing a random on ThoBro for my DK who STILL DOES NOT HAVE THE STUPID TRINKET11!!!11 I’ve been pushing to level her more because I enjoy the whole ‘leveling a toon to 80’ thing as an activity in game when I’m not raiding or doing heroics. Endy 2.0 happens to be more fun than most alts since I know what I’m doing this go round. Plus I’m secretly hoping some PuGger will be all “l2heal nub” or make some smart ass comment and then I can come back with “Fool, I already have an 80 holy pally! BAM!”
Anywho, I was in Sunken Temple (yet again) and talk in guild turned to old times and 2 officers in the guild most of us had left after a spot of drama. As I was trying not to let people die, I couldn’t pay 100% attention to the conversation, but tons of names I hadn’t seen in awhile, old drama and guilds were filling gchat. I shan’t detail it all, but appearantly there’d been more going on than I thought back in the day, and the suspicion I had about some people getting…really chummy turned out to be true. I should explain that the guild I’m in on my SC toons (well, the 2 I play the most) is made mostly of folks from the last guild we were in, which before that were guilded in a failed attempt at merging guilds and before THAT were guilded in one of the 2 guilds that merged and before THAT some were in a guild together. If you didn’t follow any of that, basically some of these folks have been together for years.
It was an interesting trip down memory lane, which I sometimes would rather forget entirely. As I wrapped up in the instance, one of my guildies who was whispering me the scoop on our former officers confided that there was more going on with regards to drama in the here and now. I am not super frequent in my time on SC nowadays that I consider Thorium Brotherhood to be my ‘main’ server, but I try to poke my head in every once and awhile and catch up with folks. However, I still don’t see the day to day atmosphere, how raids go (or don’t), etc. Since what my guildie told me was in confidence, and it’s not the issue anyway, basically she was made to feel worthless and small over something. It reminded me of my incident with Jerkface quite strongly. Regardless of who is right or wrong in that situation, I counseled her that if she’s unhappy, she needs to do something to make her happy once more…be it quit WoW, leave the guild, server transfer, play less, whatever. You should not be that miserable in a game you play for fun. Yes, things happen sometimes that make you unhappy or sad in the course of playing WoW, but sometimes it goes beyond that.
We talked a bit about the past and what prompted me to server transfer vs join most of the rest of my guildies in their new guild. Basically, it’s the same people that separately are pretty spiffy, nice, funny, good players, and sure I may have a quibble here or there with some of them (you can’t get along with everyone 100% all the time). Many of them have been guilded, as I said, for awhile. They’ve weathered drama many times before and for me, there came a time when I wanted to break free once and for all from the ‘drama cycle’.
/really bitter paragraph
When the last bit of drama happened and the new guild was being created, I felt like I was being forced to choose a side. Stay where I was, in a guild that had steadily lost most of its regular raiders and wasn’t as pleasant to be in or leave and join the new guild, full of exiles from the last one. I could see what would happen. At first, the new guild would be a bright, shiny bastion of awesome. Folks relieved to get out of the unpleasant atmostphere from the last guild would feel as if their burdens were lifted from them and they were just happy to be around each other. They’d start to raid, full of happiness, and might even quickly surpass the progress they’d made in the previous guild. It’d be great. Kitties, puppies, rainbows…the whole thing. Time would pass, but eventually it would happen. Raids going wrong (or not going at all), disagreement over loot, a conversation that takes an unintended turn…drama would creep back into the lan…err guild. All this has happened before and will happen again, so sayeth Battlestar Galactica.
/end really bitter paragraph
I think I’ve been in too many guilds that have sprung from other guilds, been guilded with alot of the same folks over time. Lemme tell you, it was kinda awkward when some folks from Jerkface’s guild joined a guild I was in and there was brief talk about a raiding alliance between our guilds. So I really wasn’t inclined to join up with them in the new guild. For ME, the options seemed 1) leave the game or 2) server transfer. I wasn’t having fun any more. I was tired of it all. I just wanted to play, raid, hang out with folks and have fun and it seemed too much to ask for. Inclined as I am not to be the cause of drama, I didn’t make much of a fuss about server transferring. I told the GM of the guild I’d stayed in my thoughts (he tried to guild trip me and make it seem like some of those that left did so for reasons not related to the drama but…I’d made up my mind), whispered a few folks about it and just…transferred without leaving the guild cause I hate typing /gquit. And y’know what, it worked. It revitalized the game for me, I’m enjoying it again and even so, I still expect the drama llama to pop it’s head out at any moment and yell “So you thought you got away, did you!!??”
My point, if I have one, is drama is a never ending cycle in WoW (and MMO’s like it, I assume). There are entirely too many people of various walks of life and backgrounds, with personalities that don’t always mesh well together and even the common goal of raiding can’t always get past that. You may say something that pisses someone off and never know it, or annoy someone with your playstyle or manner of speaking, or any number of things that express themselves later on in guild drama.
I thought about completely taking out whole paragraphs or not even posting this, but I am emboldened by the fact that my reader base is fairly small and typing all this stuff is more of a release than I’d thought. It helps sort my thoughts and forces me to realize things about myself I may not have thought about before. It may not sound like it after slogging though this ginourmous essay of a post, but I am really enjoying the game now. My main is raiding, my alt is even raiding, I can pop in on my old server to say hi to folks while I level my wee Endy and I like it. I try to focus on the good and just shrug my shoulders and let the bad go and not get as ‘involved’ in drama if I can help it. I used to want to know what was happening, all the how’s, why’s and when’s. Now I just try and stay out of it. Which is one of the things I realized about myself in the course of typing this.